Lesley Salas

Listen

Listen

I am sick and tired of you kids running around here

Paying no attention to me

Said my mother as she was bent over in our closet

Rifling through the mess for my sister’s other shoe

Sniffling at her own helplessness

And showing us how not to matter

in our own right

We

dancing around in our underpants

As if we could escape

The invisibility of women

Listen

You are running around like a whore

Hitchhiking? With a boyfriend?

Is this what we raised you for?

To shame the family 

And come to no good end?
Said my father, my mother a silent accomplice

As he cornered me in one of the exam rooms

of his office

My hands anchored to the exam table behind me

sweaty against the crinkly white paper 

so pristine

an endless roll of goodness

that my dirty whore self 

should not even deign to touch

Listen

I didn’t

To anyone

For a long, long time

Until I just couldn’t figure things out on my own

Until my logic (based on avoiding more pain

at that moment)

Collapsed utterly

And I found a paid professional who would

listen

to what I needed to say

Lessons not learned

Rinse and repeat

Listen

I have finally gotten a hold of my voice

And you will be entertained

or repulsed

or intrigued

but you will listen

Because now 

all the fairies and hobgoblins

who propagate

inside children of neglect

have broken through my ribcage

carrying pieces of my 

kintsugi heart

into the light

in their glorious, broken beauty

Personal Cosmos

during a birth 

holy bursts of stardust 

recycle in us, through us 

and back out into the universe

the other day 

when you were in trouble mijo

i felt you

even though we had not talked for a month

the girlfriend’s energy 

like a black hole

mucking up the space between us

the sparks of star

that sputtered from me to you 

the day you were born 

started spinning,

dizzied dervishes of connection

in images pulled from the acid bath

of memory,

I saw you almost crashing

this time in an out-of-rhythm molasses

oozy as the primordial swamp

I love you more fiercely

than the stars love order

astrologic intuition that started

before the Wise Men

after the Hubble telescope

beyond the Planet of the Apes

there are moments 

when I worry

about you, about me

then I realize

we are all blighted stars, 

twinkling as we can

fighting against 

our inevitable destruction,

breathless to re-emerge

as more light

Supplication (A Pandemic Poem)

This prayer is for

extreme moments

like now

Today

we ask for mercy

for ourselves

please we pray

show us mercy

teach us to be merciful

even to those 

we most despise

We will make this prayer

as we wake

with every new day

Lord hear our prayer

Holy Mary, Mother of God

Make me a ripple in the

tidal wave of grace

forgiveness 

healing

that flows from your dusky blue robe

covered in stars

Llena eres de gracia

Pray for us now and

at the hour of our death

Take us from our petty concerns

lead us on the path

that brings us to

our real selves

Liberate us from the fears

that masquerade as habits

Listen to our pleas

We will learn

to overcome

the temptation

to turn away

when we are most needed

Inshallah

Si Dios quiere

God willing

Hearken to my prayer

I will speak 

from the heart

not fumbling

with beads 

on a necklace

my fingers

trying to get it over with

Today I will my heart

to stay open

in true supplication

even though it hurts

even when it feels like the end of me

I will pray to what humbles me

Hear my prayer

Hail Mary

Mother of God

pray for us now

Llena eres de gracia

There is no time

to waste

We have all reached

a weariness

a desire to lie

down

in green pastures

but for today

we will stay awake

we will find a way

to take action

against the overwhelming

centrifugal force of 

madness and me first

and who cares

about the collateral damage

Inshallah

God willing

Si Dios quiere

I promise to

be mercy

embrace kindness

overcome the temptation to turn away

I will my heart to stay open

Every morning

I will awaken

with humility

awash with grace

pray to what humbles me

stay open

not turn away

see what I can do

Inshallah

Hear my prayer

Notes:

Inshallah: Allah willing (Arabic)

Si Dios quiere: God willing (Spanish)

Hearken to my prayer: English translation of Tehillim (Psalm) 102:1 (Hebrew Bible)

Centrifugal Force: an apparent force that acts outward on a body moving around a center, arising  from the body's inertia